If you're writing a big project it's easy to become overwhelmed. We know exactly what is happening, yet we can't backtrack from it. We know that we're trying to do too much at the same time. But that knowing, that information isn't translating into a helpful reaction. Instead, that knowing increases the overwhelm.
So what can we do to decrease that overwhelm? I for one think that is a great question because I don't have the answer. The reason I'm writing this post is not that I want to share some advice on overwhelm, but because right now I am experiencing it.
That's right, the post you're reading is being written out of my avoidance, my procrastination from the thing that I think I should be doing at the moment. I have a task in front of me, and I have suddenly found myself writing this post, and I've convinced myself that I have to write this post instead of doing the thing. This post is an attempt to escape the heat and blisters of the important task. Even though eventually, I know the heat will hunt me down in this very post.
So here I am, stuck at a crossroads with a towering billboard saying 'You Are Here.'
Another reason for writing this post is that a part of me thinks that it's a way of dealing with avoidance. I feel good about this post, because, I am realizing right now, I am having a conversation with it. Even though this conversation is somewhat indirect, a line of communication has been established.
At exactly this moment, I'm getting the feeling that I should stop writing, but another part of me, of equal strength, is suggesting that I continue. That makes me think about the plight of writing, creating stuff, how much time we spend between decisions. Left or right, forward or backward, up or down. And when we think about all these directions we can go into, we realize that we haven't moved. So I guess this post is an attempt to move, an attempt to go into any direction, away from staying right here right now, in this village that belongs to the land of indecision.
Looking around, I don't see a lot of houses in the village. The ones I see, are half built, half painted, half everything. I'm not judging, because I spent a lot of my time here. It is easy to starve to death in this village, because when I go to the store or a restaurant - the staff aren't sure if they want to bring me a menu, and if they did, I'm not sure I'd know what to order.
So here I am, stuck at a crossroads with a towering billboard saying 'You Are Here.' I'm trying to leave this place, but at the outskirts, I'm always met with the same crossroads and this billboard. I don't like living here, even though everyone is very polite and nice, nothing happens in this village of no decisions. The birds hesitate to fly, children hesitate to play and even the trees go to plastic surgery to stay the same.